CHAPTER TEN

Pip and Herbert Discuss Love

I returned to London, dreaming of Estella, now a beautiful woman who I hoped would share my future life. I needed to speak to someone about my feelings. That evening I told Herbert my secret.

My friend wasn't surprised. Instead, he replied:

"I already know that, Handel. It was obvious, even though you never told me. You've always loved Estella. I think it's very lucky that you have a chance to marry her. Does she—ah—admire you?"

I sadly shook my head. "No, she doesn't. You may think me lucky, Herbert. I have great expectations, I know. But they are nothing without her! Also, I still don't really know how much money I'll receive, or when! Nothing is certain!"

"Now, Handel," said Herbert cheerfully, "don't give up hope. Mr Jaggers himself said you would have quite a large fortune, didn't he? He's always right about money, isn't he? Anyway, you'll soon be twenty-one. Perhaps you'll know more after your birthday."

"Thank you, Herbert!" I said, feeling much better.

"But I want you to think about Estella, my dear Handel," said Herbert, looking serious. "Her education is very high, and you may be unhappy with her. Isn't it possibly, and I'm saying this as a friend, is it possible to forget about her?"

"I know you're right," I said, feeling quite miserable, "but I can never stop loving her."

"Well, no matter!" said Herbert. "I have something to tell you myself. I am engaged."

"What's the young lady's name?"

"Her name is Clara. Her mother died recently and she lives with her father. We love each other but we have to keep our feelings secret for now. I haven't enough money to marry her yet. Once I start insuring ships we can get married." Herbert tried to manage his usual cheerful smile, but he didn't seem hopeful about the future.

One day I received a letter from Estella, and my heart beat fast.

"I will be in London the day after tomorrow on the midday coach. Miss Havisham wants you to meet me. Estella."

I would have ordered several new suits if there had been enough time. I waited all morning impatiently for her coach. When I saw her, she seemed more beautiful than ever, and her manner to me was very pleasant. I took her to the house in London that Miss Havisham had arranged for her stay. It seemed that Miss Havisham had her life planned right down to the smallest detail. I could only hope that I was also part of that plan.

(end of section)